All of our efforts at negotiation have failed.

We have been unsuccessful in our attempts to make the Portland Public Schools understand that punishing students without cause, due process or a shred of evidence that it works as a motivating tool is manifestly unjust. They have refused to even consider abolishing the "NO EXCUSE" late policies of our schools. They seem to feel that punishing students for circumstances beyond their control is their God-given right.

Well, they're wrong.

After many hours of discussions with students of all genus and species a plan of action was formulated several weeks ago for just this eventuality. It was decided at that time that if the PPS would not change the punishment policies, then, when the MEA's came around, the 11th Grade students would make their voices heard. It was agreed that students would appear for the test as required (to avoid punishment) and then proceed to answer every question with the letter "A". They would then be done with the test in about five minutes and have the rest of the time to themselves.

Months later when the results of the MEA's are released, scores will have plummeted and Federal Inspectors will be in town to staighten things out. THEN, maybe the PPS will listen to the voices of the students. Too bad they didn't listen when they were asked politely.

A long time ago, the federal government decided that our schools were not doing a very good job of turning out German rocket scientists. They knew this for a fact because the commies had managed to accelerate a 183lb. lump of metal named Sputnik up to 17,900mph with THEIR German rocket scientists. The U.S. meanwhile, had spent over 4 billion dollars and had been unable to make a rice krispie move much faster than 9.8m/sec². The feds knew they needed some more smart people and they needed them pronto! Thus was born the National Defense Education Act of 1958, which allowed our Prez to throw money at schools like french fries towards pelicans. Now, instead of training young minds in all aspects of adulthood and citizenship, the job of the schools would be to create scientists, mathmeticians, engineers and other assorted dweebs. Because, as we all know, Science and Math are "important" subjects that are actually useful in life as opposed to those "unimportant" subjects such as Art, Music and Philosophy which can only be used by sensitive undergrads to get the bra off an impressionable freshman Psychology major. This new paradigm of education did little to create German rocket scientists but much to create a lot of free time for beatniks and their hippie children which led to protesting the Vietnam war, joining the Weather Underground and kidnapping Patty Hearst.

The public schools were happy for the new source of revenue because now they could buy new ashtrays for the teacher’s lounge and get those really nice rulers with the metal in the edge which didn’t break the first time you smacked a kid’s ear with it. And they knew they’d be doing a lot of smacking if they were going to produce enough quality German rocket scientists to get an American to the Moon by 1969 by gum! Unfortunately, someone forgot to tell them that it is unconstitutional for the federal government to get involved in education or maybe somebody did tell them but that person didn’t have tenure so it probably wasn’t true. Either way, the money started rolling in and it hasn’t stopped since even though, to the best of our knowledge, very few German rocket scientists were created. Then again, maybe they were but no one would have sex with them so they died off eventually. What did everyone outside of education learn from the Defense Education Act of 1958? Lots of money thrown at a problem does not necessarily produce results.

Time marched on but our schools still rode in the horseless carriage. Hippies got into teaching because it was "groovy, man" and you got the summers off. Students were told to question everybody else’s authority and "call me Dave". These yarnheads forced the old and sick onto the ice flows of early retirement. Latin teachers were the first to go followed by administrators who knew someone who knew someone who had actually known John Dewey. Next came Mrs. Zamanigian who failed you if you only got one wrong on your multiplication tables. Gradually, spelling bees and dodgeball were outlawed as "negatively reinforcing self-esteem activities" and replaced with more "at task" activities such as "share bear" and sitting on a hard chair for six hours at a time listening to Ms. Freerainbowhug wax poetic about something called the underground railroad which, you are shocked to find out, has no Morlocks and even fewer horsepower. We should have all marched into their classrooms right then and put an end to that nonsense but we didn’t and their demon seed would come back to haunt us in the 1990’s. What did everyone outside of education learn from this new pedagogy? Demanding and knowledgeable teachers are often the best teachers.

Next came the Age of Theories. Whole language vs. phonics, Classical Education vs. Frisbee Golf and who can ever forget the monumental brouhaha which was Didactically Oriented Systems of Axioms for Elementary Geometry vs. Look, A Square! As teachers began losing the respect of their students because, let’s face it, they were not the brightest people in the village anymore; they felt the need to create the illusion that learning was somehow akin to alchemy and only THEY knew how to work the lodestone. Thus, schools of education bloomed. Now, one no longer needed to acquire mastery of a subject in order to become a teacher. You could walk right down to your local state college and major in education even if you were as dumb as a sack of hammers. You would be taught the latest theories of cognitive development, learn how to create lesson plans and sit at the feet of master teachers who, while not ever having actually taught in a real school, had many friends who were teachers. You would graduate with a degree, which proved beyond a shadow of a doubt, to anyone who cared to notice that you had paid your tuition. Now it was time to get into teaching, snag tenure, coast for 10-15 years, become a principal and retire from a job well done. What did everyone outside of education learn from this? Schools of education can’t make silk purses out of sow’s ears. What makes a good teacher? Knowledge of the subject at hand and high scores on verbal aptitude tests. Simple as that.

The field was now plowed and the seeds of our present situation could be planted. Television failed from its early promise and became a mugwump wasteland which would undermine parental authority and lobotomize our children. In the good ol’ days we had secrets which we kept from the young until they had earned that particular right of passage. Now with television, everything was out there: from sex to murder and cannibalism. Unfortunately, seeing something is not quite the same thing as understanding something, and our kids grew up thinking that they knew everything but they lacked the maturity and wisdom which would only come with age, booze and a divorce. Parents also should share some of the blame for the sorry state of our society by remaining children themselves. They refused to grow up and accept the responsibilities of adulthood and parenthood whilst livin’ in the ‘hood. Even the "good" parents were culpable by refusing to set limits, instill civility and manners and wanting to be a best bud to their child instead of a parent. Finally, the schools themselves and especially the teachers are the biggest reason for most of the problems we face as a society today. Quite simply, they have not done the job we paid for. Somewhere along the line, they forgot that their purpose was to create a life-long learner not produce fodder for the cannons of industry. The schools have followed the whims and orders of Business and assumed that the goal of education was to provide the local widget factory with entry level widget technicians. Business, much like the Army doesn’t want free-thinkers and poets, they want you to have that report on their desk by 4:00pm or else.

"Good Morning Bob,

I did visit the GNU site. Very interesting. Your arguments were well thought out, but not enough to win me over. Perhaps on your next installment, when the plan is revealed.

I can appreciate that there are teachers and administrators who fit the descriptions that you speak of. Obviously, these are not the majority of those involved in the education process. I would hope that all is not lost. For if it is, if there are no active brains left in education, who will carry your message? How will reform ever come to be?

Do you know how I have changed the face of education here in _________? I have demanded B's or better from my kids. I bring them on vacations; we go to museums, shows, etc. I inspire them to read books, newspapers, Internet and magazines. I involve them with their community and their Grand Parents. They have walked on Washington DC for Right to Life, they have worked for the shelters around ________. They have jobs outside the family. I open their books and notebooks when they are asleep and read what they read, I spy on them. I go to their schools; I speak to their teachers and ask, "What can I do to help?" I challenge them to be something other than just another source of "carbon dioxide" on the planet.

My Educational Plan is this: "Do not expect others to take care of your kids". It is my responsibility to teach and nurture my kids. Not the Teachers, not the Administrators... these individuals are nothing more than "waiters" in the educational arena. It is their function to set the table, prepare the lesson, and assist with the learning process during the school day. They are "waiters" not PARENTS. It is my job to nurture, to train, to practice, reward, scold, assist, re-enforce, augment... to love.

My kids are taught that SCHOOL is their job. Both my wife and I have jobs, and so do they. It is their responsibility to put in a good days effort everyday. It is my responsibility to manage and supervise their efforts.

This is how I get more of the educational money for my kids. This is how I influence the establishment. By insisting and being involved with the kids I affect the way the teachers act towards them. When they arrive at class with the right attitude, prepared, clean, fed, awake they get noticed. When my kids screw up, the teachers send home notes or call because I asked them to. And the issue is resolved within one night. We send in school supplies with the kids. We send in items for other kids to see. (Friday, I sent the 2nd grader with a Coconut we brought back from the Bahamas. Tom and I just got back from a Boy Scout trip, we sailed around the Bahamas for a week during April Vacation).

I want my kid's teachers to get excited when they see my kids walk into the room. I want them to know that this kid is here to learn, has Parents that are involved with him /her. I want that Teacher to see my kids and remember why they got into teaching.

Bob, I got out of Teaching after one semester at ________ High School. I got out because of the Parents first, Kids second. I have used my Educational courses and Secondary Ed Certs to affect my kids instead.

From my point of view. Home schooling is the way to go. Public Education is required to learn how to survive and be effective in society. Any parent who thinks her / his kid is going to enter the educational arena on one end a child and come out the other end a CEO is being naive. Perhaps it is this type of self-reflection that has brought so much negative press to the Educational process over the years.

Closing thought:

People, Adults, Parents, Kids do not want to be held responsible for their actions or lack of action. The easiest path to self-praise is to blame someone else for your ills. When you are unemployed, not promotable, earning less than you think you should... blame your parents. When that gets old, blame the school system, the government, the ozone, the car in front of you.... heck lets blame the car behind us too.

The school system is perfect as a tool for learning. As with any tool, at some point one has to pick it up and actually use it. The screwdriver will not motivate itself. The problem with schools is not that they are ineffective. The problem is that kids do not want to work that hard. And Parents are supporting that decision.

The problem is not that the teacher is an idiot. The problem is that no one is holding the Parent responsible. No one is telling the kid that their opinion on whether or not to do their homework really does not matter. They will do their homework, they will get B's or better, they will put in their best effort. No "or else's". No threats. You will, because to do anything less is unacceptable.

Sorry, I went on a bit. Got to run. I have a net meeting to attend.